1 00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:29,112 Commandos aren't afraid to jump, you know. 2 00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,449 But he's no Commando! 3 00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:49,383 Welcome back 4 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:52,636 Yes, okay, this is VJ Emmie right back at you 5 00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:55,097 Bringing you da new movie from - 6 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,980 Home of the Best of Da Best Movies 7 00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:04,982 See it 8 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:06,900 and believe 9 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,989 Kampala, Uganda 10 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:26,670 This is Swaaz 11 00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:30,007 Swaaz means Schwarzenegger 12 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:31,550 in Uganda 13 00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:39,057 Swaaz is a good man 14 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:42,144 His wife is in the Hospital 15 00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:44,688 She's dying 16 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:50,319 He must do what he needs to do 17 00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:51,945 to save her 18 00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:02,164 Go on, get outta here. 19 00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:06,001 He has a gun 20 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,336 Everyone down. 21 00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:10,839 I said down. 22 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,550 And shut up. 23 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:16,720 You a hero? 24 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:19,556 Drop da phone. 25 00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:20,807 Open, open 26 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,059 I said open 27 00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:25,854 No, no, please no 28 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:28,357 I have a key 29 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,070 Ugandan key 30 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,365 Money, bring the money 31 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:38,825 His partner - 32 00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:40,869 Buddy Spencer 33 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,206 Money, money, money, money Hurry your ass up. 34 00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:50,837 It's a big heist 35 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:53,507 The winner takes it all 36 00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,637 Who are you? What are you doing? 37 00:02:58,970 --> 00:02:59,721 Hey! 38 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,348 This is Captain Alex 39 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:02,849 He's alive! 40 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:04,893 Captain Alex is alive! 41 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:07,771 He's dead 42 00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:10,273 Captain Alex is sooo dead 43 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,820 Don't look. Who Killed Captain Alex? 44 00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:16,863 Schwarzenegger 45 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,534 Come on, you fat bastard. 46 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:33,755 This is a bad idea 47 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,382 I wanna go back to school 48 00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,175 Don't move. Wait for me. 49 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,060 I want to be a doctor 50 00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:48,645 or a lawyer 51 00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:49,896 I don't care 52 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,691 Shut the door. 53 00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:05,704 Jump, jump, jump. 54 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:07,456 Jump? 55 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,458 Are you crazy? 56 00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:13,587 Meanwhile 57 00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:15,213 Ghetto Rally 58 00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:17,716 Wakaliwood Ghetto Rally 59 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:19,468 Subaru 60 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:21,720 The Police is here 61 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,722 Now! Jump, jump. 62 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:24,973 Like Rambo 63 00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:27,225 No way, you jump 64 00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:30,979 Now, go, go. Go now! 65 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,356 He's just a mere boy 66 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,359 on a Supa Tough mission 67 00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:45,619 Bastard 68 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:48,622 Stop the car. 69 00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:50,999 Now it's time 2 see the real action 70 00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:02,719 Did you enjoy Who Killed Captain Alex? 71 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:08,058 Now it's time for Bad Black 72 00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:09,351 Don't let him escape. 73 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:10,060 From 74 00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:13,563 Wakaliwood Studios, Nateete, Uganda Where to, Boss? Shut 75 00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:16,900 up and drive. Is this yours? You have keys?! Police 76 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,165 I need a ride 77 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:33,792 a Supa Ride 78 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:39,923 The Ugandan Schwarzenegger 79 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,510 Swaaz on the run 80 00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:45,554 Movie 81 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,556 Stop. Stop. 82 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:06,908 Supa Fire 83 00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:17,335 Police on da move 84 00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,475 He can fit the unfitables 85 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:47,824 Just watch 86 00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:55,624 My bums 87 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:00,879 Behind you 88 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:05,759 Fire, fire 89 00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:07,385 He's over here. 90 00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:09,387 Supa Warrior 91 00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:11,765 Very dangerous Swaaz Come on. 92 00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:33,161 My wife 93 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,871 I need to get to my wife 94 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:47,050 He's getting away 95 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:51,179 I'm too old for this shit 96 00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:54,391 He's free! 97 00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,274 Police is serious 98 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,204 Look ooooooooout! 99 00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:24,170 He's back! Run for your life. 100 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:27,340 Sweet Jesus! Allah, save us. 101 00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:36,349 More deadlier than expected 102 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,479 Fight for life 103 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:44,858 Fight to the death 104 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,126 My wife, I love my wife 105 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,213 Ladies and Gentlemen, the impenetrable 106 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,509 So incredible 107 00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:13,887 Most unexpendable 108 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,514 Ugandan Schwarzenegger! 109 00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:24,022 Welcome to Uganda 110 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,114 Okay, Supa Fans 111 00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,366 In this movie 112 00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:39,079 you're going to learn all about Love 113 00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:41,122 and Revenge! 114 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,292 I love you 115 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,170 You have money? 116 00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,047 Get away from my sister. 117 00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,300 That's it. You're a dead man. 118 00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:56,012 Love is hard in Wakaliga 119 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:58,640 I'll never get laid. 120 00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:01,434 Here we go 121 00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:02,936 Again! 122 00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:07,816 Now you're going 2 see 123 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:11,277 This is life I told you scum to stay away from my family. In Wakaliwood ghetto 124 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:31,965 Go home 125 00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:33,341 Get out! 126 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:36,302 Now, it's a war 127 00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,472 between ghetto people and uptown 128 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,307 Okay, I go home 129 00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:45,478 Why are you idiots always fighting? 130 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:46,688 Love Story 131 00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:49,107 Love of Action 132 00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,116 Good fighters 133 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:00,994 Ghetto fighters 134 00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,170 You're gonna give me a heart attack. 135 00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:11,337 You all crazy! 136 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:19,262 Every Master with his own technique 137 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,101 Kill each other somewhere else. 138 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,353 Stop it! Go to Hell! 139 00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:31,900 Non-stop deadly kicks 140 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,614 Get out of here. Just go away. 141 00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:42,493 All that money gone. What are we gonna do? 142 00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:44,871 Supa Loss 143 00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:46,706 There is no supper 144 00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:50,668 Don't cry, Grandma. It'll be okay. Come here, child. 145 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,593 Bring Grandma some water, child. Later that evening 146 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:03,514 Get out of here. Go on. 147 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:04,807 Get the hell out. 148 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:08,561 Mom, you put yourself under so much pressure. 149 00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:11,814 You're too old to raise a child - 150 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,651 especially one that isn't ours. 151 00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:19,030 Just throw her out. We need to think of ourselves. 152 00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:23,785 Look what it's doing to you. The kid's not worth it. 153 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:28,831 The child means nothing. She isn't family. 154 00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:32,961 The street ghetto 155 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,214 She left home 156 00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:45,431 Hey, cutie. Where you goin'? 157 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,191 Come here. 158 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,069 Help me! Help me! 159 00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:02,949 Quiet 160 00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:20,466 Where'd she go? 161 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,885 She's stronger than she looks. 162 00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:41,738 My Grandma was sick, and my Uncle told her to thrown me away. 163 00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:48,286 He said I was too much trouble, and that I wasn't even family. 164 00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:51,039 That's why I'm here on the streets. 165 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,295 Good. Now you. 166 00:13:57,628 --> 00:14:02,550 My mother was making dinner, and I dropped it on the floor. 167 00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:05,136 I ran away before my step- father could beat me. 168 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:07,555 Work on it. You. 169 00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:12,268 This is the life I chose, man. No regrets. 170 00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:16,147 Listen up - the new ones are your responsibility. 171 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:18,566 Show them what to do - 172 00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:22,195 but make damn sure they make money tomorrow. 173 00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:24,364 Got it? The street boss 174 00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:26,324 He is the leader 175 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,208 Little Commandos - 176 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,586 You remember why we're here, don't you? 177 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:49,680 Families - All families 178 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,350 They can break you apart or keep you together 179 00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:56,354 Families 180 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:02,443 All families - They can break you apart or keep you together 181 00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:07,323 There is something you have done, Dear Father 182 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,534 Some used to starve at home 183 00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:12,245 It is so painful 184 00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:15,498 Some left their homes because of the punishments 185 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,375 Why do you want to bring tears to my eyes? 186 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,002 They had to leave, as they thought it can be better 187 00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:22,713 It makes me want to leave, and start my own family 188 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:27,260 Families - All families 189 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,221 They can break you apart or keep you together 190 00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:35,268 There is something you have done, Dear Mother 191 00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:37,645 So, you'll find them on the streets 192 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,398 It is so painful not well taken care of 193 00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:44,861 Families - All families 194 00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:49,282 They can even struggle, just to be earning a living 195 00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,428 Metal scrap 196 00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:16,017 You a thief! 197 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,810 What are you doing with this? 198 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:20,646 I'm sorry 199 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,773 What else did you steal? I didn't know. 200 00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:26,819 Tell the truth 201 00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:29,447 Hit harder. She'll talk. 202 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,535 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 203 00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:39,665 Let's burn her. 204 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:40,791 Please, no 205 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,335 This is none of your business. 206 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:45,171 She's just hungry. This is someone's child. 207 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:46,964 Whose child? 208 00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:48,674 Get out of here. 209 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:53,804 I see you again 210 00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:54,972 I kill you 211 00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,557 Seriously 212 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,520 These young kids always sell aluminum 213 00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,104 I got some good stuff. Hey. Man. 214 00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,357 How you been? - Same old shit. Just for a small amount of money 215 00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:06,734 so they can take care of themselves 216 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,820 How much you want? Gimme 50,000. 217 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,950 Gotta weight it and see. 218 00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,996 1.5 Kg. You see? 219 00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,877 I'll give you 1500. 220 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,004 He's a good man 221 00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,757 He was like this child, once 222 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,760 I'll be back with better stuff. 223 00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:36,097 Understand? You sure? 224 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,100 You wanna eat, you have to work. 225 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,644 That's the way it goes around here 226 00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:44,146 They beg 227 00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:45,648 for da boss 228 00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:50,236 If you fail to do so, you'll 229 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,154 suffer the consequences 230 00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:00,121 What's this? 231 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:04,667 You're stealing from me. No, a man gave it to me. 232 00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,544 Thief. 233 00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,264 She's stealing money from us. 234 00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:21,434 - That's not true. - Shut up. 235 00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:26,939 You joke with me? 236 00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:29,692 You think I'm a joke? 237 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,320 You see this? 238 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,697 This a dog tag. I'll teach you that I'm a Commando. 239 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,450 I can kill you right now. 240 00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,339 Sandra. 241 00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:03,059 Next time, you. You will die. 242 00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:05,353 1 will kill you next time. 243 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,355 If you joke around me. 244 00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,318 A Commando. She jokes with a Commando. Me. 245 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:34,382 She does what she must 246 00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:36,258 to survive 247 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,493 You can't kill me. 248 00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:06,288 You're just a kid. You cannot kill me. 249 00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:10,167 I'm a Commando. You cannot kill me. 250 00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:24,056 10 Years Later 251 00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,814 Now, you gonna meet 252 00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:35,568 From New York 2 Uganda 253 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,321 America's Best Action Star 254 00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:42,408 Alan Ssali, Masajja wa Kabaka 255 00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,160 What is your name? 256 00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:50,207 I don't understand you, SO your name is now Betty. 257 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,335 America's Van Damme 258 00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,172 Here in Uganda 259 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,049 because his wife kicked him! 260 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,471 Open your mouth. 261 00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:10,227 See? That's how you do it. 262 00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:13,647 Very good. Very good. Okay, you're done. 263 00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:15,399 He never asks for money. 264 00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:17,568 You're very healthy. You're very fine. 265 00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:23,240 The doctor has an assistant 266 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,118 Wesley Snipes 267 00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:28,871 Nooo. 268 00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:32,458 Yeah, that one. 269 00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:40,007 It's okay. Thank you. And we need one of these. 270 00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:42,635 Later after 271 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:47,765 Long day. 272 00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:55,773 Is that a dog tag? 273 00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,025 Yeah, it's a dog tag. 274 00:21:58,359 --> 00:21:59,485 Are you a Commando? 275 00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:01,654 No. No, I'm not a Commando. 276 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,656 But, my father was a Commando. 277 00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:04,782 This is his. 278 00:22:05,241 --> 00:22:07,034 My mother was a Commando. 279 00:22:07,368 --> 00:22:08,786 And my brother is a Commando. 280 00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:11,038 My dog was a Commando. 281 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,540 Dog? 'Embwa'? 282 00:22:13,123 --> 00:22:15,292 You have a Commando dog? 283 00:22:16,961 --> 00:22:18,963 Doctor, are these sweets? 284 00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:22,007 No, they're not sweets. Nothing here is sweets. 285 00:22:23,217 --> 00:22:24,552 They look like sweets. 286 00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:27,930 No. No, they don't. And they don't taste like them. 287 00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:30,766 You don't like them. You don't want them. 288 00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:35,062 Clean up, and we're good. Then we'll go home. 289 00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:50,578 You're too good. You're too strong is the problem. 290 00:22:51,245 --> 00:22:52,037 Is he dead? 291 00:22:52,329 --> 00:22:53,497 Wake up. Time to find a job. 292 00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:55,958 Ohhh, this is Uganda, I thought he's dead. 293 00:22:57,918 --> 00:22:59,920 I'm comin'. 294 00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:02,590 How you doing? Yeah, you're lookin' good. 295 00:23:03,007 --> 00:23:05,551 That's for sure. Okay, come on. Let's go home. 296 00:23:12,766 --> 00:23:15,352 We got his bank statements, Black. This Hirigi's a very rich man. Back to da Ghetto 297 00:23:16,687 --> 00:23:19,356 Remember, it's 10 years later 298 00:23:19,773 --> 00:23:22,318 Now all the ghetto kids are grown-ups 299 00:23:22,610 --> 00:23:23,611 What about you? 300 00:23:24,278 --> 00:23:25,738 They have a plan against a rich man 301 00:23:26,030 --> 00:23:29,366 He likes to drink at Club 17. He's there every afternoon. 302 00:23:31,702 --> 00:23:34,246 The girl, she's now the leader 303 00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:35,706 of this gang 304 00:23:35,998 --> 00:23:37,750 Hirigi has a wife, Black. 305 00:23:38,709 --> 00:23:42,254 And a teenage son, named Kenny. 306 00:23:42,963 --> 00:23:44,757 Here's a photo. 307 00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:52,723 What's with the muzungu? 308 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:58,270 That's the new doctor. He won't last. 309 00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:02,399 This is easy money. 310 00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:08,113 - I'm Bad Black. - Bad Black? 311 00:24:08,822 --> 00:24:11,116 I'm Ssali. Doctor Ssali. 312 00:24:12,242 --> 00:24:14,787 I heard you're doing a great job in my community. 313 00:24:15,329 --> 00:24:17,665 Thank you. It's only the beginning. 314 00:24:18,749 --> 00:24:19,792 May I have your contacts? 315 00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:21,794 You never know - I can be of any help. 316 00:24:22,086 --> 00:24:23,087 Don't do it! 317 00:24:23,379 --> 00:24:24,546 That would be amazing. 318 00:24:24,838 --> 00:24:26,799 We are just beginning and we need alot of help. 319 00:24:27,591 --> 00:24:28,884 You have dog tags? 320 00:24:30,219 --> 00:24:31,303 Commando? 321 00:24:32,096 --> 00:24:33,055 What do you think? 322 00:24:35,516 --> 00:24:36,433 You see this? 323 00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:38,936 This is a dog tag. I'll teach you that I am a Commando. 324 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:52,241 Hello, dead muzungu 325 00:24:52,533 --> 00:24:54,827 He's a Commando. 326 00:24:55,536 --> 00:24:58,288 He must be a spy. We should find out what he knows. 327 00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:01,041 I hate Commandos. 328 00:25:04,128 --> 00:25:06,588 He's Hirigi, the rich man 329 00:25:08,549 --> 00:25:13,220 The Mayor has friends there, that's the problem. 330 00:25:14,138 --> 00:25:17,683 Otherwise, we could just throw them out and take the land. 331 00:25:27,943 --> 00:25:29,570 Who's the babe? 332 00:25:29,862 --> 00:25:32,948 Go find out, if you can still walk. 333 00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:36,243 Watch and learn. 334 00:25:38,704 --> 00:25:40,205 Kung Fu Master 335 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:41,874 of Love 336 00:25:42,666 --> 00:25:44,501 You're not drinking? 337 00:25:45,461 --> 00:25:47,337 I don't drink. 338 00:25:47,629 --> 00:25:50,132 You don't drink? That's a first. 339 00:25:53,093 --> 00:25:56,513 You mean there's nothing here that you like? 340 00:25:58,599 --> 00:26:00,851 Maybe one thing. 341 00:26:04,855 --> 00:26:07,024 Please, don't hurt me. Please. I'll kill you. Serious. 342 00:26:08,484 --> 00:26:11,653 You're here alone? Who says I'm alone? Ohhh, it's da same man. 343 00:26:12,738 --> 00:26:14,156 She's seeking vengeance 344 00:26:14,448 --> 00:26:17,993 I don't see you with anyone. Yet. 345 00:26:19,703 --> 00:26:21,288 Ugandan women 346 00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:23,665 They are beautiful 347 00:26:24,458 --> 00:26:25,918 but deadly 348 00:26:27,628 --> 00:26:29,296 I -I -I love you 349 00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:33,509 Sorry, but I need to go. Something came up. 350 00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:37,888 No problem. 351 00:26:38,180 --> 00:26:39,932 It was a pleasure meeting you. 352 00:26:41,517 --> 00:26:44,311 Thanks for the help. I'll talk to you later. 353 00:26:52,653 --> 00:26:53,904 Your phone number. 354 00:26:54,196 --> 00:26:55,322 Stupid 355 00:26:56,365 --> 00:26:59,326 There's no need. I'll see you again, if it's meant to be. 356 00:27:01,745 --> 00:27:04,832 I don't leave things to fate. 357 00:27:08,418 --> 00:27:09,586 She's good 358 00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:16,218 Hirigi 359 00:27:17,261 --> 00:27:18,178 His home 360 00:27:19,179 --> 00:27:20,347 His family 361 00:27:20,639 --> 00:27:22,474 I think she's wonderful, Kenny. She's the one, Mom. 362 00:27:24,309 --> 00:27:27,729 And it's about time I had grandchildren. 363 00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:31,817 Welcome home, sir. 364 00:27:33,402 --> 00:27:36,697 What's the emergency? We have good news. 365 00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:39,867 A new maid? She don't look like much. 366 00:27:41,076 --> 00:27:42,870 This is Ken's fiancee. 367 00:27:43,328 --> 00:27:46,248 What's that? And she's pregnant. 368 00:27:49,585 --> 00:27:52,754 What are you saying? They're getting married. 369 00:27:53,463 --> 00:27:58,010 Is this a sick joke? You think this is funny? 370 00:28:00,304 --> 00:28:03,348 Kenny, where'd you find this whore? 371 00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:07,477 She lives across town. Be a man and say it. The ghetto? 372 00:28:07,769 --> 00:28:11,481 I've known her for years. What are my rules? 373 00:28:11,940 --> 00:28:17,029 Never go across the bridge and mess with that filth. 374 00:28:18,488 --> 00:28:19,781 You got up. You want to fight me? 375 00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:23,410 The other girlfriend 376 00:28:24,828 --> 00:28:26,163 This is getting good 377 00:28:26,455 --> 00:28:29,291 How can you let this happen? What's the matter with you? 378 00:28:30,709 --> 00:28:32,169 She wants money! 379 00:28:33,253 --> 00:28:34,671 What's going on? 380 00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:40,928 It's my life. I love mt fiancee, and to Hell with you. 381 00:28:42,512 --> 00:28:46,683 How can you love this roach turd? Much less get it pregnant? 382 00:28:48,268 --> 00:28:49,895 Ken, you - 383 00:28:51,772 --> 00:28:53,649 I've given you my time, my love - 384 00:28:53,941 --> 00:28:55,943 Ohhh, baby, it's nothing. I love you. 385 00:28:59,029 --> 00:29:01,073 Go apologize to her. 386 00:29:01,490 --> 00:29:03,075 That's it! Get out of here. 387 00:29:04,785 --> 00:29:06,411 To hell with ghetto Leave this house. 388 00:29:08,163 --> 00:29:09,414 Are you crazy? 389 00:29:10,499 --> 00:29:13,293 Why are you hitting me? You know why. 390 00:29:15,254 --> 00:29:16,838 What an asshole 391 00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:27,557 Bad Black 392 00:29:32,187 --> 00:29:35,315 Uganda's Best Worst Thief 393 00:29:45,701 --> 00:29:48,537 Back to Alan Ssali, Muzugu Muganda 394 00:29:48,829 --> 00:29:50,622 People have been waiting for you. 395 00:29:52,582 --> 00:29:54,501 Doctor, what's wrong? 396 00:29:55,585 --> 00:29:56,753 I met a woman. 397 00:29:57,587 --> 00:29:58,547 She stole everything. 398 00:29:58,839 --> 00:30:00,382 She stole my money, she stole my passport - 399 00:30:00,674 --> 00:30:01,967 but she stole my dog tags. 400 00:30:02,592 --> 00:30:03,719 Your dog tags? 401 00:30:04,845 --> 00:30:07,014 I went to the Police. They're not gonna do anything. 402 00:30:07,723 --> 00:30:08,765 And I don't know what to do. 403 00:30:09,099 --> 00:30:11,476 You should not go to the Police. 404 00:30:11,768 --> 00:30:14,771 You are a Commando. I'm not a Commando. I'm a Doctor. 405 00:30:16,481 --> 00:30:20,277 You're father was a Commando. It is in your blood. 406 00:30:20,569 --> 00:30:21,653 You are Commando. 407 00:30:21,945 --> 00:30:24,865 If you can't train yourself, I can train you. 408 00:30:26,074 --> 00:30:28,660 How can you train me? I'm a Doctor. I don't know anything. 409 00:30:29,870 --> 00:30:31,121 First lesson 410 00:30:32,956 --> 00:30:36,126 Get da hell outta here. Can't you see the Doctor's sick? 411 00:30:36,752 --> 00:30:39,546 He looks fine to us. We've been here all morning. 412 00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:41,548 Learn to take care of yourselves. 413 00:30:42,090 --> 00:30:43,550 Your adults, aren't you? 414 00:30:44,009 --> 00:30:44,926 You go 415 00:30:48,388 --> 00:30:50,015 You don't have to fear. 416 00:30:50,307 --> 00:30:52,059 I believe in you. 417 00:30:54,227 --> 00:30:55,187 What da hell? 418 00:30:55,979 --> 00:30:57,022 Are you ready? 419 00:30:57,356 --> 00:30:59,066 Time 4 Action. Let's go! 420 00:31:01,985 --> 00:31:02,944 What the hell, man? 421 00:31:03,236 --> 00:31:04,237 Run! Run! 422 00:31:04,529 --> 00:31:05,447 You have to be a Commando 423 00:31:05,781 --> 00:31:06,698 You have to learn 424 00:31:07,032 --> 00:31:08,450 to fight 4 yourself! 425 00:31:09,409 --> 00:31:10,952 Forget your wife in America 426 00:31:11,620 --> 00:31:12,704 She hates you! 427 00:31:13,789 --> 00:31:14,706 Run. 428 00:31:15,248 --> 00:31:16,958 That, my friend, was poo poo 429 00:31:17,417 --> 00:31:18,335 For real 430 00:31:18,668 --> 00:31:19,795 This is Uganda 431 00:31:20,504 --> 00:31:21,588 Poo poo everywhere 432 00:31:23,006 --> 00:31:24,841 You don't want to be a Commando? 433 00:31:25,550 --> 00:31:27,469 Yet, your brother is a Commando 434 00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:29,471 You even have - 435 00:31:29,805 --> 00:31:30,722 Dodge! 436 00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:32,474 A Commando dog 437 00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:33,934 I'm a Doctor, dammit. 438 00:31:35,060 --> 00:31:36,228 Just leave me alone 439 00:31:45,695 --> 00:31:46,613 What's this? 440 00:31:57,332 --> 00:31:57,999 Get him! 441 00:31:58,333 --> 00:31:59,376 Get muzungu 442 00:32:00,085 --> 00:32:01,878 Wait, wait. Wait. 443 00:32:03,296 --> 00:32:04,506 Eat da white guy 444 00:32:05,090 --> 00:32:06,383 Cook him alive! 445 00:32:07,217 --> 00:32:08,885 He must be delicious 446 00:32:11,221 --> 00:32:12,514 They're gonna kill me 447 00:32:14,599 --> 00:32:16,143 Somebody help me 448 00:32:19,104 --> 00:32:20,021 Idi Amin 449 00:32:20,939 --> 00:32:23,024 I brought for you food. I'm eating this. This is good. 450 00:32:23,316 --> 00:32:25,777 It's "kikommando'. It's good for Commandos. 451 00:32:26,069 --> 00:32:27,988 Yes! It's good for Commandos. 452 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:29,823 I like this. This is my favorite. This is rubbish. 453 00:32:30,115 --> 00:32:31,408 You're not a civilian! 454 00:32:32,075 --> 00:32:33,076 I brought for you food. 455 00:32:33,368 --> 00:32:34,786 You eat kikommando 456 00:32:35,996 --> 00:32:37,247 Running water. 457 00:32:37,706 --> 00:32:38,999 This is water? 458 00:32:41,126 --> 00:32:42,043 I have to drink this? 459 00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:45,672 Master 460 00:32:47,382 --> 00:32:49,050 Da Kung Fu Master 461 00:32:52,262 --> 00:32:53,555 The Karate Kid 462 00:32:54,514 --> 00:32:55,640 What is this? 463 00:32:56,391 --> 00:32:58,685 Some 'matoke'? Maybe some candy bars. 464 00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:00,437 Are you stupid? 465 00:33:00,729 --> 00:33:01,438 Push ups. 466 00:33:01,730 --> 00:33:02,689 Miyagi Supa Tough 467 00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:04,232 Down, down, down. Push ups. 468 00:33:04,524 --> 00:33:05,317 Do it 469 00:33:07,110 --> 00:33:08,570 The Ugandan Miyagi 470 00:33:09,779 --> 00:33:10,697 One. 471 00:33:14,409 --> 00:33:16,411 That is two. That is two. Three. 472 00:33:24,169 --> 00:33:25,420 Wesley Snipes 473 00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:28,340 Good teacher 474 00:33:33,386 --> 00:33:35,305 I'm going to teach you how to kick. 475 00:33:37,432 --> 00:33:38,475 Now, do it. 476 00:33:48,068 --> 00:33:50,570 Are you ready? Now, kick this. 477 00:33:50,862 --> 00:33:51,696 Supa Master 478 00:33:58,203 --> 00:34:00,455 I'm showing you. I'm showing you. 479 00:34:02,207 --> 00:34:03,250 Catch. Catch. 480 00:34:06,795 --> 00:34:08,880 He's trying to be a good Commando 481 00:34:11,091 --> 00:34:12,259 A good soldier 482 00:34:12,968 --> 00:34:14,386 That's good. 483 00:34:18,348 --> 00:34:19,599 Master, I'm done 484 00:34:23,436 --> 00:34:24,604 I think you are ready. 485 00:34:24,980 --> 00:34:26,523 Ready to die 486 00:34:28,984 --> 00:34:29,901 Kenny 487 00:34:31,111 --> 00:34:32,904 Hirigi's son, Kenny 488 00:34:34,990 --> 00:34:38,618 Families - All families 489 00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:40,245 Someone tortured? 490 00:34:49,004 --> 00:34:50,130 Bad Black 491 00:34:52,215 --> 00:34:54,634 What are you doing here, rich kid? 492 00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:57,262 I want some drugs. Now, he wanna try the ghetto life 493 00:34:57,554 --> 00:35:01,683 Who said we have drugs? I saw some musicians. 494 00:35:02,892 --> 00:35:05,312 Not all musicians use drugs, man. 495 00:35:08,982 --> 00:35:11,192 Find out why he's here. 496 00:35:14,404 --> 00:35:15,697 I have an idea. 497 00:35:16,156 --> 00:35:18,074 Don't involve drugs in your problems, man. 498 00:35:18,366 --> 00:35:19,326 Listen to him 499 00:35:20,368 --> 00:35:21,286 It's good advice 500 00:35:21,578 --> 00:35:22,787 You hearing me? 501 00:35:23,079 --> 00:35:24,247 I should take it 502 00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:27,459 I see this all the time - Nothing good comes from it. 503 00:35:29,794 --> 00:35:32,464 What's he want? To get high, man. 504 00:35:33,006 --> 00:35:34,966 - He got money? - Lots. 505 00:35:37,636 --> 00:35:42,182 Families - All families 506 00:35:42,807 --> 00:35:44,601 Stop it. Stop it. 507 00:35:46,686 --> 00:35:49,356 Think back to when we were kids. 508 00:35:52,692 --> 00:35:56,112 To when we were frightened and begging on the streets. 509 00:35:58,406 --> 00:36:00,742 To when you were thrown from home. 510 00:36:01,076 --> 00:36:02,619 We need to feel it. 511 00:36:03,203 --> 00:36:06,748 The song needs to be perfect for tonight's concert. 512 00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:10,460 Wow, look at all the hot women. 513 00:36:11,461 --> 00:36:14,005 What are you looking at? Those two. 514 00:36:14,839 --> 00:36:17,133 I bet they're twins. 515 00:36:18,468 --> 00:36:22,639 Careful. You're disrespecting our boss. But, they're hot. 516 00:36:24,849 --> 00:36:27,394 Keep him high and out of sight. 517 00:36:28,186 --> 00:36:30,230 Give him some Jet Fuel. 518 00:36:31,356 --> 00:36:34,776 You like to fly? You're gonna be the first Ugandan on the Moon. 519 00:36:43,493 --> 00:36:45,620 I'm soaring thru the air. 520 00:36:46,454 --> 00:36:50,375 Nothing can stop me. I can do whatever I want. 521 00:36:51,376 --> 00:36:54,254 Out of the way, stupid birds. 522 00:37:03,763 --> 00:37:05,640 Now, it's time for Action 523 00:37:12,647 --> 00:37:16,067 Wait for my signal. 524 00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:20,071 Alan Ssali, Masajja wa Kabaka 525 00:37:20,405 --> 00:37:22,073 Now he's Commando 526 00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:28,705 Where are my dog tags? 527 00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:31,207 Supa Tough 528 00:37:31,791 --> 00:37:33,209 Looking for a wife? 529 00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:35,295 Think you'll find one in Uganda?! 530 00:37:38,423 --> 00:37:39,090 Yeah! 531 00:37:39,424 --> 00:37:41,468 Beat muzungu! Beat him good. 532 00:37:42,010 --> 00:37:44,304 This is ghetto 533 00:37:45,930 --> 00:37:48,433 Hey, you fuckin' American. What the hell you looking for here? 534 00:37:49,058 --> 00:37:49,976 Owe Nkima 535 00:37:50,393 --> 00:37:51,728 "Ugandan Supa Soldier' 536 00:37:53,146 --> 00:37:54,981 Hey, he's winning. He's winning! 537 00:37:55,648 --> 00:37:56,983 Ohhh, he's losing. 538 00:38:09,204 --> 00:38:10,830 What are you looking for? No one. 539 00:38:11,122 --> 00:38:12,207 - You saying? - Black? 540 00:38:12,499 --> 00:38:13,625 Behind you. Behind you. 541 00:38:14,959 --> 00:38:16,002 Supa Fighter 542 00:38:19,214 --> 00:38:21,132 Long Island Kick 543 00:38:33,937 --> 00:38:35,647 Jesus, they're gonna kill me 544 00:38:37,607 --> 00:38:38,775 Run, muzungu 545 00:38:39,359 --> 00:38:41,653 Miyagi! Come and help me, Miyagi! 546 00:38:42,362 --> 00:38:43,780 This time muzungu is dead 547 00:38:52,622 --> 00:38:53,915 Mama Mia 548 00:39:00,088 --> 00:39:01,005 No escape 549 00:39:04,759 --> 00:39:06,010 Ohhh, in the poo poo 550 00:39:06,302 --> 00:39:07,637 Da poo poo 551 00:39:07,929 --> 00:39:09,430 Ugandan poo poo 552 00:39:09,764 --> 00:39:11,307 Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! 553 00:39:12,141 --> 00:39:13,184 Miyagi, where are you? 554 00:39:13,476 --> 00:39:14,394 What is it? 555 00:39:15,144 --> 00:39:16,396 I can't. There's too many of them. 556 00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:18,064 Are you mad? 557 00:39:18,731 --> 00:39:19,774 You can do it! 558 00:39:20,066 --> 00:39:21,568 It took me years to be tough. 559 00:39:22,652 --> 00:39:24,070 Go. I said go. 560 00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:25,196 Do it! 561 00:39:25,530 --> 00:39:27,073 Go back. Go! 562 00:39:27,991 --> 00:39:29,158 I'll do it 563 00:39:30,618 --> 00:39:33,162 l can do it. I can do it. 564 00:39:33,788 --> 00:39:35,373 Hey, it's Uncle Benon Another dead muzungu. 565 00:39:36,749 --> 00:39:37,959 Wrong movie 566 00:39:38,793 --> 00:39:40,378 I have one child. A son. 567 00:39:40,670 --> 00:39:42,088 Back to the Mugaga 568 00:39:42,797 --> 00:39:46,676 But, I no longer consider him family. He ruined his life. 569 00:39:47,927 --> 00:39:51,097 Is it drugs? Ghetto life has its consequences. 570 00:39:51,681 --> 00:39:54,225 I'm scared of the people down there. 571 00:39:54,684 --> 00:39:58,730 As soon as I buy the land, I'll throw them all out. 572 00:40:00,565 --> 00:40:04,360 But, those people can kill their own parents. 573 00:40:05,445 --> 00:40:09,741 My son is not in my life. You have nothing to fear. 574 00:40:10,533 --> 00:40:15,246 In fact, that's why I'm looking for a new wife. 575 00:40:16,205 --> 00:40:20,209 One who can give me a proper son, and take over my inheritance. 576 00:40:21,085 --> 00:40:23,546 Sir, I would be honored to be your wife. But - 577 00:40:23,838 --> 00:40:24,881 That's fast 578 00:40:32,805 --> 00:40:35,433 Ohhh, Hirigi's in Love 579 00:40:35,975 --> 00:40:36,976 Dumb bastard 580 00:40:37,268 --> 00:40:38,645 What is it? Tell me. 581 00:40:40,229 --> 00:40:42,649 Well, what if - 582 00:40:44,484 --> 00:40:50,406 you first transfer your money to me, so I can start being a good mother to our son? 583 00:40:50,740 --> 00:40:51,824 Ohhh, good idea 584 00:40:52,116 --> 00:40:53,701 Is that all? No problem. We can do it tomorrow. You smart 585 00:40:54,744 --> 00:40:56,120 I trust you 586 00:40:56,829 --> 00:40:58,164 Really? You mean it? 587 00:40:58,706 --> 00:41:01,292 Of course. We'll go to my lawyer. I love you. 588 00:41:01,834 --> 00:41:06,089 Men, we can be so stupid All families 589 00:41:07,382 --> 00:41:12,011 They can break us apart or keep us together 590 00:41:12,512 --> 00:41:14,931 All families 591 00:41:17,392 --> 00:41:21,938 They can break us apart or keep us together 592 00:41:22,772 --> 00:41:26,901 There is something you have done, Dear Husband 593 00:41:27,735 --> 00:41:32,073 Why do you want to bring tears to my eyes? 594 00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:36,452 It is so painful 595 00:41:37,286 --> 00:41:41,541 This is great. They're singing on the bridge between the rich and the poor. 596 00:41:42,291 --> 00:41:47,422 Both sides will get the message - that family should bring people together. 597 00:41:54,887 --> 00:41:57,557 Remember, she is the ghetto woman 598 00:41:58,307 --> 00:42:00,977 This is where this woman comes from 599 00:42:05,314 --> 00:42:07,483 Hirigi is sooo happy 600 00:42:09,694 --> 00:42:11,320 but not for long 601 00:42:18,161 --> 00:42:19,370 The Ghetto 602 00:42:21,330 --> 00:42:22,623 'Richie Rich' 603 00:42:28,463 --> 00:42:30,006 What are we doing here? 604 00:42:39,474 --> 00:42:41,809 Welcome home, dear. Hungry? No thank you, Grandma. Hey, it's Jajja 605 00:42:42,101 --> 00:42:43,352 from beginning 606 00:42:48,566 --> 00:42:49,734 Have a seat. 607 00:42:51,069 --> 00:42:52,612 You gonna need it 608 00:42:55,364 --> 00:42:56,991 You two know each other? 609 00:42:59,744 --> 00:43:03,790 I want you to meet my boyfriend. We're gonna get married. 610 00:43:06,501 --> 00:43:09,170 Sweet Jesus, I hope you're either drunk or asleep - 611 00:43:10,254 --> 00:43:12,048 Are you a retarded goat? 612 00:43:14,884 --> 00:43:17,053 What da hell is she talking about? 613 00:43:17,762 --> 00:43:21,140 She's so old, she's become senile. 614 00:43:22,725 --> 00:43:27,271 Is it a sin for a rich man to marry a young, beautiful woman? 615 00:43:29,398 --> 00:43:30,441 Asshole! 616 00:43:31,234 --> 00:43:35,071 This is your own granddaughter. 617 00:43:35,488 --> 00:43:38,533 She's the child of the daughter you let die in the ghetto. 618 00:43:41,035 --> 00:43:41,994 I'm pregnant. 619 00:43:42,286 --> 00:43:43,830 I'll kill you! You're dead. 620 00:43:44,413 --> 00:43:45,581 Flavia? 621 00:43:47,625 --> 00:43:48,918 The grandfather? 622 00:43:49,877 --> 00:43:51,712 She's marrying the grandfather? 623 00:43:52,171 --> 00:43:54,090 We need to go back to my lawyer. 624 00:43:54,382 --> 00:43:55,216 Bad Black is crazy! 625 00:43:58,886 --> 00:44:00,429 Did they Beat the Rat? 626 00:44:00,763 --> 00:44:01,681 Did they? 627 00:44:02,932 --> 00:44:04,225 I'm going to vomit 628 00:44:07,186 --> 00:44:08,563 What are you doing? 629 00:44:09,438 --> 00:44:11,107 This now belongs to me. 630 00:44:16,279 --> 00:44:18,865 You and this old hag - you think you can steal from me? 631 00:44:22,076 --> 00:44:26,873 Don't you know who I am?! I'm a very powerful man. 632 00:44:27,206 --> 00:44:31,878 That's it. I'm gonna buy this land and throw you all in the gutter. 633 00:44:32,587 --> 00:44:34,130 With what money? 634 00:44:36,299 --> 00:44:39,343 Back to Muzungu Muganda, Alan Ssali 635 00:44:40,678 --> 00:44:41,554 Thank God 636 00:44:41,846 --> 00:44:42,889 Muzungu, how are you? 637 00:44:43,181 --> 00:44:45,516 I'm fine. And how are you? Okay. 638 00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:48,978 What is your name? My name is Rachel. 639 00:44:49,270 --> 00:44:51,480 Rachel, that's a beautiful name. Where is your mother? 640 00:44:51,772 --> 00:44:53,608 My Mom has gone to work. 641 00:44:53,900 --> 00:44:56,736 And your Dad? I don't have a Dad. 642 00:44:57,028 --> 00:44:59,405 Do you like candy? Sweets. Yes. 643 00:45:02,742 --> 00:45:03,659 Do you know her? 644 00:45:04,243 --> 00:45:05,912 Yes, that is Black. 645 00:45:07,246 --> 00:45:09,290 Yes, everyone knows her. 646 00:45:10,249 --> 00:45:13,169 Do you know her? ll met her, yes. I know her. 647 00:45:14,879 --> 00:45:15,922 She is Black. 648 00:45:18,257 --> 00:45:21,427 Take me to her. First, give me my sweets. 649 00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:22,929 Ugandan women 650 00:45:25,514 --> 00:45:27,058 Thank you. 651 00:45:32,980 --> 00:45:34,315 Come, come. 652 00:45:44,909 --> 00:45:45,868 Here. 653 00:45:53,542 --> 00:45:55,711 Ooooooh, Ssali's mad 654 00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:57,588 You'll be mad, too 655 00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:00,216 if you can only act in Uganda 656 00:46:01,050 --> 00:46:03,469 Hirigi likes to drink at Club 17. 657 00:46:08,933 --> 00:46:10,101 Watch dogs 658 00:46:17,316 --> 00:46:19,235 I want my stuff back 659 00:46:22,321 --> 00:46:24,240 Now, he's Commando 660 00:46:24,782 --> 00:46:26,242 For real 661 00:46:35,334 --> 00:46:36,752 Mercenary 662 00:46:44,176 --> 00:46:46,304 There she is. Kill her! 663 00:46:49,974 --> 00:46:51,267 Look at my car. 664 00:46:51,976 --> 00:46:52,935 Please, help me 665 00:46:53,227 --> 00:46:54,812 She stole everything you see. 666 00:46:55,980 --> 00:46:57,690 Look at my house. It's ruined. 667 00:47:05,323 --> 00:47:06,240 That's her? 668 00:47:07,825 --> 00:47:11,412 Just throw her out. She's nothing. 669 00:47:12,371 --> 00:47:14,498 She's not family. 670 00:47:15,916 --> 00:47:17,668 As long as she can remember 671 00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:19,045 Hey, you - 672 00:47:19,879 --> 00:47:21,922 Why do you cause problems for everyone? 673 00:47:22,882 --> 00:47:26,510 Now, I'm gonna throw you from this home, too. 674 00:47:31,057 --> 00:47:32,767 He came to finish her off 675 00:47:33,684 --> 00:47:35,686 She finished him off 676 00:47:41,317 --> 00:47:45,905 You're telling me Bad Black is giving money away in the slums? 677 00:47:46,989 --> 00:47:47,990 Yes, sir. 678 00:47:48,449 --> 00:47:52,870 What kind of criminal is this?! Why can't the Police stop him? 679 00:47:53,871 --> 00:47:58,334 Bad Black is very, very wise and street smart. 680 00:47:59,210 --> 00:48:03,881 The ghetto loves and protects the gang. They have spies everywhere. 681 00:48:04,548 --> 00:48:07,635 And Bad Black always moves with an army of thugs. 682 00:48:08,511 --> 00:48:12,807 It's a huge network, and they have alot of money. 683 00:48:13,849 --> 00:48:17,269 But, that's just part of the problem. 684 00:48:17,728 --> 00:48:20,523 We don't even know what Bad Black looks like. 685 00:48:21,273 --> 00:48:23,484 But, we have a plan. 686 00:48:24,652 --> 00:48:26,779 A big arms deal is goin' down in the slums. 687 00:48:28,447 --> 00:48:30,699 At just the right moment - 688 00:48:31,450 --> 00:48:34,245 my Kung Fu Cops will surround them. 689 00:48:35,788 --> 00:48:37,331 I promise you - 690 00:48:37,665 --> 00:48:42,336 We'll chop off their heads, and throw Bad Black's corpse in prison forever. 691 00:48:48,717 --> 00:48:50,803 Muzunguuuuuuuuuuuuu 692 00:49:13,742 --> 00:49:15,119 Oooh, da poo poo 693 00:49:15,411 --> 00:49:16,620 No more poo poo 694 00:49:17,830 --> 00:49:21,792 Stallone should fight a crocodile. I'd pay to see that. Excess use of Ganja 695 00:49:29,216 --> 00:49:30,759 Here 2 stop Black 696 00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:33,220 Forever 697 00:49:38,767 --> 00:49:40,561 Predator's half Jamaican, you know. 698 00:49:46,025 --> 00:49:47,818 Mamacita 699 00:49:51,780 --> 00:49:54,575 Everyone you asked for is here. 700 00:49:55,409 --> 00:49:57,786 Including the gun dealer. 701 00:50:00,915 --> 00:50:02,374 Show Madame the briefcase. 702 00:50:16,388 --> 00:50:18,265 A tough squad on a mission 703 00:50:22,186 --> 00:50:23,145 Hello 704 00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:46,085 Put the guns away. Don't worry. 705 00:50:48,045 --> 00:50:49,296 Gun dealers 706 00:50:50,381 --> 00:50:51,966 Gun smugglers 707 00:51:08,315 --> 00:51:09,483 Tough gang 708 00:51:10,359 --> 00:51:11,902 Tougher than Action 709 00:51:15,155 --> 00:51:17,074 Let's talk inside. 710 00:51:18,951 --> 00:51:20,452 Leave the guns here. 711 00:51:22,162 --> 00:51:24,248 Watch the briefcase and weapons. 712 00:51:30,170 --> 00:51:31,130 Briefcase 713 00:51:32,506 --> 00:51:34,258 You goddamn thieves! But, we're all thieves. 714 00:51:36,260 --> 00:51:37,595 It's time to deliver 715 00:51:38,470 --> 00:51:39,471 Da movie's on! 716 00:51:47,229 --> 00:51:49,148 Alan Ssali in Action 717 00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:52,276 He has a machine gun 718 00:51:54,361 --> 00:51:55,529 Supa Warrior 719 00:51:58,115 --> 00:51:59,366 Gimmie my stuff back 720 00:52:06,832 --> 00:52:07,958 Is that Rambo? 721 00:52:08,709 --> 00:52:09,627 Hands up. 722 00:52:24,892 --> 00:52:26,518 Watch dogs! 723 00:52:27,478 --> 00:52:28,479 Don't move. 724 00:52:34,026 --> 00:52:35,569 Ugandan Police 725 00:52:40,699 --> 00:52:41,700 Kung Fu Cop 726 00:52:45,954 --> 00:52:48,624 It's the doctor. He's gone crazy! 727 00:52:52,294 --> 00:52:54,880 America's Best Action Staaaaaaar! 728 00:52:55,506 --> 00:52:56,674 Ugandan Cobra 729 00:52:58,509 --> 00:52:59,593 meets da Panther 730 00:53:02,763 --> 00:53:03,681 Supa Fighter 731 00:53:07,309 --> 00:53:08,060 China 732 00:53:08,352 --> 00:53:09,645 China in Uganda 733 00:53:17,861 --> 00:53:19,822 What's wrong? Another muzungu's gone nuts. 734 00:53:20,114 --> 00:53:21,281 I knew it. I knew it. 735 00:53:21,699 --> 00:53:22,991 Run for your life! 736 00:53:27,037 --> 00:53:27,955 Run, run 737 00:53:28,414 --> 00:53:29,873 Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuun! 738 00:53:32,543 --> 00:53:33,794 Save me, please 739 00:53:34,086 --> 00:53:35,254 It's da doctor 740 00:53:35,713 --> 00:53:36,964 He's crazy! 741 00:53:39,007 --> 00:53:40,259 He has a machine gun 742 00:53:40,676 --> 00:53:43,303 We all dead. He's gonna kill us. 743 00:53:44,054 --> 00:53:46,265 A new warrior on da block 744 00:53:56,024 --> 00:53:56,942 Dance 745 00:53:57,484 --> 00:53:58,861 Ugandan dance 746 00:54:07,369 --> 00:54:08,746 Worst doctor ever 747 00:54:10,622 --> 00:54:11,540 Fire 748 00:54:13,125 --> 00:54:14,084 Alan Ssali 749 00:54:15,836 --> 00:54:16,879 This doctor 750 00:54:17,254 --> 00:54:18,839 needs borders 751 00:54:25,262 --> 00:54:26,388 He wants Black 752 00:54:31,727 --> 00:54:32,770 Where the fuck are my dog tags? 753 00:54:33,061 --> 00:54:33,896 Let me explain. 754 00:54:39,651 --> 00:54:40,569 Get 'em! 755 00:54:51,622 --> 00:54:54,458 This is Black. This is who you're looking for. 756 00:54:56,919 --> 00:54:58,420 And I have my dog tags. 757 00:55:01,590 --> 00:55:03,383 Don't fuck with Americans. 758 00:55:05,302 --> 00:55:07,846 Now U gonna see Uganda's first 759 00:55:08,138 --> 00:55:10,182 Women in Prison movie 760 00:55:11,099 --> 00:55:12,935 You call that a massage? 761 00:55:15,854 --> 00:55:17,523 See who they're bringing. 762 00:55:34,998 --> 00:55:36,667 Enjoy your new girlfriend. 763 00:55:37,793 --> 00:55:38,836 Suck my dick. 764 00:55:45,592 --> 00:55:46,885 Look at you. 765 00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:51,849 You're mine, now. Understand? 766 00:55:53,851 --> 00:55:56,603 Look at these pretty clothes. 767 00:55:59,273 --> 00:56:00,774 Who do you think you are? Bad Black? 768 00:56:03,068 --> 00:56:04,736 Gonna seduce my husband, too? 769 00:56:08,574 --> 00:56:10,117 Come on, take it easy. 770 00:56:12,703 --> 00:56:14,413 Money, gimmie money 771 00:56:16,331 --> 00:56:17,583 Hurry up. 772 00:56:18,876 --> 00:56:20,419 Make it my birthday. 773 00:56:30,345 --> 00:56:33,599 This is alot of money. You must really be Bad Black. 774 00:56:35,142 --> 00:56:37,811 I'm gonna keep this as a souvenir. 775 00:56:38,770 --> 00:56:39,897 Godzilla 776 00:56:40,188 --> 00:56:40,981 Welcome, Bad Black. 777 00:56:41,273 --> 00:56:42,107 Fan of Bad Black 778 00:56:42,399 --> 00:56:43,191 I love your work. 779 00:56:44,568 --> 00:56:46,862 Listen, can you teach me to seduce rich men, like you? 780 00:56:49,197 --> 00:56:53,118 They can make anyone from the ghetto just disappear. 781 00:56:56,538 --> 00:56:58,206 Why are you here? 782 00:57:00,959 --> 00:57:02,461 Long story. 783 00:57:03,545 --> 00:57:05,005 Kill, kill, kill 784 00:57:05,297 --> 00:57:09,301 What she do? Nothing. She just likes it here. 785 00:57:11,887 --> 00:57:14,765 They brought me here right after I gave birth. 786 00:57:15,474 --> 00:57:17,809 I never even held my child. 787 00:57:19,770 --> 00:57:22,898 After all these years, I don't even know if she's alive. 788 00:57:24,024 --> 00:57:26,860 My father was a very rich man. 789 00:57:28,445 --> 00:57:30,781 He put me here because of whom I loved. 790 00:57:31,073 --> 00:57:33,283 She was abandoned by the family 791 00:57:34,034 --> 00:57:35,202 like Bad Black 792 00:57:35,494 --> 00:57:38,413 Hey, where we going? 793 00:57:39,164 --> 00:57:40,415 Rescue Mission 794 00:57:41,166 --> 00:57:42,834 Kenny on da Rescue Mission 795 00:57:43,126 --> 00:57:45,963 All hands on deck. Ready for take-off. 796 00:57:48,674 --> 00:57:52,928 You're Schwarzenegger. Rambo. I wanna be Rambo. 797 00:57:55,722 --> 00:57:57,641 Put on your lucky coat. 798 00:57:58,558 --> 00:58:00,268 I need guns. 799 00:58:01,061 --> 00:58:02,813 All da guns. And ammo. 800 00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:32,092 A bad man, a bad man, a bad man, is a bad man. 801 00:58:36,972 --> 00:58:38,849 Hope you like Heaven, man. 802 00:58:39,141 --> 00:58:40,142 Lets do this. 803 00:58:42,394 --> 00:58:44,604 You're the Ghetto Schwarzenegger. Me am the King 804 00:58:45,522 --> 00:58:46,898 Me da conqueror 805 00:58:48,025 --> 00:58:50,444 Me da boss around You're our hero. A real movie star. 806 00:58:54,781 --> 00:58:56,491 Say Hello to Commando Jesus. 807 00:58:58,577 --> 00:59:00,120 Rescue Mission 808 00:59:04,166 --> 00:59:06,168 Who are you? Where you going? 809 00:59:10,630 --> 00:59:11,548 Can't you read? 810 00:59:14,634 --> 00:59:16,386 I'm telling you - 811 00:59:17,846 --> 00:59:21,141 women are more dangerous than men. 812 00:59:23,101 --> 00:59:24,352 You want 2 sleep? 813 00:59:25,562 --> 00:59:27,147 Okay, I put to sleep 814 00:59:35,405 --> 00:59:37,449 Bad Black in the house. 815 00:59:37,741 --> 00:59:38,700 Bad Black? 816 00:59:39,076 --> 00:59:40,410 All your problems are solved. 817 00:59:48,710 --> 00:59:49,628 Alarm 818 00:59:53,673 --> 00:59:55,801 Get outta here. All of you. 819 00:59:58,595 --> 01:00:00,180 You're free. You're free. 820 01:00:01,598 --> 01:00:02,599 Go, you're free 821 01:00:03,058 --> 01:00:04,101 You stay here 822 01:00:05,769 --> 01:00:07,187 It's dangerous outside 823 01:00:09,272 --> 01:00:11,983 What are you doing? You're free in just two days. 824 01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:17,114 I don't care. I can't go on. Think of your daughter. 825 01:00:17,989 --> 01:00:21,409 Come out and play. I'm just getting started. 826 01:00:22,911 --> 01:00:23,829 Where are you? 827 01:00:24,121 --> 01:00:26,081 Let's see who's the best. 828 01:00:29,042 --> 01:00:30,460 Move, move. Let's go. Supazilla 829 01:00:30,961 --> 01:00:32,003 She's loose 830 01:00:32,420 --> 01:00:33,880 Supazilla's loose 831 01:00:36,967 --> 01:00:38,051 You, there. Stop! 832 01:00:42,639 --> 01:00:43,473 Riots 833 01:00:43,890 --> 01:00:44,975 Prison riots 834 01:00:47,060 --> 01:00:47,644 Women 835 01:00:48,270 --> 01:00:49,938 Dangerous Ugandan women 836 01:00:53,733 --> 01:00:56,236 Oh, crap! He's freed all the prisoners. 837 01:00:57,737 --> 01:00:58,655 Commando 838 01:00:59,197 --> 01:01:01,074 Lock all the doors and exits. 839 01:01:04,953 --> 01:01:06,204 Beat the Rat? 840 01:01:11,293 --> 01:01:12,210 Supazilla 841 01:01:12,711 --> 01:01:13,753 Supa Woman! 842 01:01:14,421 --> 01:01:15,213 Supa Warrior 843 01:01:15,505 --> 01:01:16,590 Oh, God! No! 844 01:01:17,674 --> 01:01:19,259 She'll destroy Kampala. 845 01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:24,806 Godzilla 846 01:01:32,606 --> 01:01:33,523 Mortar fire 847 01:01:34,065 --> 01:01:36,151 Expect da Unexpectable 848 01:01:38,236 --> 01:01:39,905 He claims to be Bad Black 849 01:01:40,780 --> 01:01:42,240 He's Bad Black now 850 01:01:47,495 --> 01:01:49,372 I think I saw Godzilla 851 01:01:54,127 --> 01:01:56,671 Avoid doors and gates. Jump the walls if necessary. 852 01:01:57,047 --> 01:01:58,882 Split into two teams and surround him. 853 01:02:12,687 --> 01:02:14,022 Expect no Mercy 854 01:02:16,483 --> 01:02:17,400 The situation 855 01:02:17,776 --> 01:02:19,653 now goes beyond monotonous 856 01:02:28,578 --> 01:02:29,496 Oh, my God! 857 01:02:29,829 --> 01:02:30,747 Where'd she go? 858 01:02:33,333 --> 01:02:34,626 Help me, Museveni! Call the Military 859 01:02:41,091 --> 01:02:43,510 What's he doing now? See for yourself. 860 01:02:46,137 --> 01:02:48,598 And I want '24' back on TV. 861 01:02:49,182 --> 01:02:50,934 Best damn show on TV. 862 01:02:52,811 --> 01:02:55,230 That's drugs talking. 863 01:02:56,439 --> 01:02:59,985 That's the son of Hirigi, the rich guy in town. 864 01:03:01,152 --> 01:03:03,071 Let's play. 865 01:03:03,697 --> 01:03:06,199 Let's get him. But alive. 866 01:03:08,034 --> 01:03:09,202 Alive? 867 01:03:11,871 --> 01:03:12,789 Target 868 01:03:16,793 --> 01:03:17,711 More deadlier 869 01:03:21,047 --> 01:03:22,215 He is Rambo 870 01:03:23,425 --> 01:03:24,342 Schwarzenegger 871 01:03:24,968 --> 01:03:25,885 Van Damme 872 01:03:28,138 --> 01:03:29,306 Bruce Willis 873 01:03:31,516 --> 01:03:32,517 Bill Murray 874 01:03:35,145 --> 01:03:36,062 Stallone 875 01:03:37,731 --> 01:03:38,898 Nothing can stop him 876 01:03:39,190 --> 01:03:41,484 He is Schwarzenegger He is everything, man He's Van Damme 877 01:03:47,324 --> 01:03:48,450 Zoe Bell 878 01:03:53,079 --> 01:03:54,205 Nothing can stop him 879 01:04:04,132 --> 01:04:05,050 Poor Kenny 880 01:04:06,259 --> 01:04:07,719 He has nothing 881 01:04:09,012 --> 01:04:10,472 Lost girlfriends 882 01:04:11,139 --> 01:04:12,098 Lost home 883 01:04:12,974 --> 01:04:14,392 Kenny lost everything 884 01:04:17,812 --> 01:04:19,564 Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 885 01:04:19,856 --> 01:04:21,649 My eggplants 886 01:04:25,862 --> 01:04:27,072 Let's call it a draw. 887 01:04:30,950 --> 01:04:32,702 What a movie! 888 01:04:35,580 --> 01:04:37,248 Good thing it's over 889 01:04:41,586 --> 01:04:43,963 She has done for her time, now 890 01:05:00,897 --> 01:05:04,609 In light of yesterday's events - 891 01:05:04,901 --> 01:05:08,613 All criminal charges against the defendant are dismissed. 892 01:05:09,614 --> 01:05:12,992 We'll now hear the case against her as filed by Mr. Hirigi. 893 01:05:13,993 --> 01:05:18,540 Mr. Hirigi accuses the defendant of extortion 894 01:05:19,124 --> 01:05:21,418 leading to the theft of his property and assets. 895 01:05:21,793 --> 01:05:24,087 Do you understand the charges? 896 01:05:26,214 --> 01:05:27,966 Innocent or Guilty? 897 01:05:29,551 --> 01:05:31,177 Now, we're going to learn 898 01:05:31,469 --> 01:05:34,013 why Bad Black did everything 899 01:05:36,516 --> 01:05:38,101 Boring 900 01:05:41,062 --> 01:05:42,147 She can talk 901 01:05:46,568 --> 01:05:48,236 Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh 902 01:05:48,528 --> 01:05:50,196 Swaaz was her father 903 01:05:54,492 --> 01:05:56,161 Swaaz was a good man 904 01:05:57,245 --> 01:05:59,497 and loved in the ghetto 905 01:06:02,292 --> 01:06:06,004 He loved Flavia verrrrrry much You're my Action Hero. You're mine, too. 906 01:06:10,758 --> 01:06:12,760 But, he had no money. 907 01:06:14,095 --> 01:06:15,805 Is this the bastard? 908 01:06:16,347 --> 01:06:17,640 How dare you touch my daughter? 909 01:06:19,934 --> 01:06:21,060 Wait, I'm not done. 910 01:06:25,482 --> 01:06:29,194 How can you be so stupid, Flavia? At least I married for Love. 911 01:06:30,403 --> 01:06:33,448 You wanna be poor? Go and be poor. 912 01:06:34,699 --> 01:06:36,659 But do it alone. 913 01:06:37,702 --> 01:06:40,663 You'll see what interesting lives the poor lead. 914 01:06:44,250 --> 01:06:46,503 Then Flavia became dying 915 01:06:47,587 --> 01:06:49,047 and pregnant 916 01:06:50,798 --> 01:06:53,176 Doctor, please save my family. 917 01:06:55,094 --> 01:06:56,638 Rescue Mission 918 01:06:58,264 --> 01:06:59,891 Get to the Hospital! 919 01:07:03,895 --> 01:07:05,188 Still a bastard 920 01:07:06,689 --> 01:07:07,857 Here's the money. 921 01:07:08,608 --> 01:07:10,485 Doctor, please save them. 922 01:07:10,777 --> 01:07:12,111 Swaaz saved his baby 923 01:07:15,198 --> 01:07:16,658 But not himself 924 01:07:19,202 --> 01:07:21,329 I don't care if she's dead. She's going to jail. And not Flavia 925 01:07:21,621 --> 01:07:23,039 She's alive. 926 01:07:23,665 --> 01:07:25,083 Where's Swaaz? 927 01:07:26,751 --> 01:07:28,836 Those assholes killed him. 928 01:07:36,427 --> 01:07:40,640 With no family, Baby Black was brought to Jajja 929 01:07:41,849 --> 01:07:44,811 A baby?! Why the hell is this my problem? 930 01:07:48,147 --> 01:07:52,610 When I learned my own grandfather wanted to evict the slum. 931 01:07:54,612 --> 01:07:57,115 I knew I had to do something. 932 01:07:58,575 --> 01:08:03,288 Most of all, I wanted him to know 933 01:08:04,831 --> 01:08:11,588 that the poor can't help being poor, and no one can chose whom they love. 934 01:08:15,508 --> 01:08:22,640 If my mother were alive, she'd tell you how unfair life can be. 935 01:08:23,558 --> 01:08:24,934 I'm right here. 936 01:08:25,935 --> 01:08:27,103 What da hell? 937 01:08:33,192 --> 01:08:34,193 Flavia? 938 01:08:34,861 --> 01:08:35,945 How've you been? 939 01:08:37,989 --> 01:08:39,198 That's Flavia? 940 01:08:39,907 --> 01:08:41,242 That's her Mother? 941 01:08:42,201 --> 01:08:43,661 She's alive??? 942 01:08:45,413 --> 01:08:46,831 I'm so confused 943 01:08:48,708 --> 01:08:50,209 and I'm Ugandan! 944 01:10:25,263 --> 01:10:27,974 Now, you know all about Love 945 01:10:28,808 --> 01:10:30,351 in Uganda 946 01:10:41,821 --> 01:10:44,699 Back to Muzungu Muganda, Alan Ssali 947 01:10:47,785 --> 01:10:51,414 You look beautiful, however not quite the nurse yet. 948 01:10:51,748 --> 01:10:52,874 Put that on. 949 01:10:54,751 --> 01:10:56,878 Now, she wants 2 be a Doctor 950 01:10:57,336 --> 01:10:59,172 and helping children 951 01:11:18,524 --> 01:11:19,484 Hirigi's wife! 952 01:11:19,776 --> 01:11:21,611 My family destroyed by my own granddaughter. 953 01:11:21,903 --> 01:11:22,987 Revenge! 954 01:11:23,654 --> 01:11:24,739 Look ooooout! 955 01:11:33,247 --> 01:11:34,373 What da hell? 956 01:11:46,969 --> 01:11:49,138 Muzungu really did die 957 01:11:51,849 --> 01:11:53,184 I liked him 958 01:11:56,479 --> 01:11:59,649 Supa Subtitles by: